Why China?

First of all, let it be known that this was a difficult choice. In fact, I must admit I was really hoping that we didn't have to choose the country for a long time. Each country's international adoption procedures were different and had good points and bad points. When we were faced with the first decision... choosing an agency... we chose a Christian agency that offered many options for countries simply because we couldn't decide. CWA (Christian World Adoption) has been a fantastic adoption agency. They are located in North Carolina and South Carolina (and we are in Virginia)... yet the distance has shown to cause no difficulties whatsoever.

When we first applied to work with the agency, we were honestly looking into the new Kyrgyzstan adoption program... and perhaps Kazakhstan. However within a few days, we realized that their procedures simply wouldn't work with our current lifestyle. Those adoptions required much longer traveling plans... in fact, we would most likely have to fly over there twice for two weeks each trip or stay for six weeks. Neither of those options would work with Mike's work schedule nor did we wish to leave our children back in the US without us for so long.

Guatemala was a viable option... we even knew of a family at our church that adopted from there, but the country cost was prohibitive for us. We also knew a family who had adopted from Russia ... but that country had a similar travel plan to the "-stan" countries.

Korea was a very well-known option (although CWA did not offer that program). Our friend Christy S. worked for an adoption agency that dealt with Korea, and she spoke highly of the program. Our next-door neighbors John and Joanna just adopted Sara from Korea and were very supportive of that country's program. The foster mom of their daughter was even a Christian. However, we had it in our heart to adopt a daughter, and that wasn't an option for us through Korea. We already had a girl in our family, so we were ineligible to request a gender. Our understanding is that most of the adopted children from Korea are boys. So despite hearing only positive things about Korea, we found it just couldn't work for us.

We then began looking into China. China's international adoption program has been around for a very long time and is considered very reliable. When researching international adoptions you begin hearing a lot of stories of families that had incredible heartbreak or setbacks that delayed adoptions, cost a lot more money than anticipated or were completely misleading. However China was not usually a source of problems... it was a fairly well-known program that was the most "popular" one in the US. According to the US Dept of State website, 6,493 orphan children received immigrant visas from China in 2006. The next highest group was from Guatemala (4,135 children) and then Russia (3,706 children).

At the time in which we applied and began our Chinese adoption process, very few changes had occurred in their requirements for adoption since its inception. Funny that I say that... a few months into the program, we learned that CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs) was changing a lot of requirements effective May 1! For a few days there, we panicked that we wouldn't be eligible. (Our main fear was a requirement to have fewer than 3 kids currently in the home.) However, we were quickly assured that we should be fine assuming our BMI's were in range and that our net worth was enough. They were. Despite the fact that we still qualified, many people were suddenly disqualified. One of the big changes was the fact that no longer could single parents expect to be given a referral... married couples would be given priority. Here is a link to FAQs about International Adoption through China. http://www.china-ccaa.org/swsy/swsy_index_en.jsp

Unfortunately in the last six months to a year, Chinese adoption referrals have slowed down in comparison to the number of requests. When we began our process, we were told that the referral-wait-time (after China logged us in after receiving the dossier) was 12-13 months. That was in October 2006. Now, in June 2007, we are looking at 20 month waits with an expectation for the wait to go up even higher by the time we receive a referral. Going on that information, we are not expecting to now receive our referral for perhaps 2 years (maybe more!) We completed our dossier papers in mid-April, mailed them to CWA who reviewed them around April 25th, and the dossier was mailed to China on April 30th. Our log-in-date (LID... found in the left margin of our blog) is May 14, 2007 ... 3 years to the day after Tommy's due date! (Tommy was actually born May 9th... Mother's Day, 2004.)

So when watching for referrals, we'll be looking for the LID of current referrals in relation to our own.

Wish us luck in staying patient during this long, long wait. I knew God was about to test my patience when we first heard 12-13 months. Now, I really need to pray to remain patient. He has a child in mind for us... whether she is already born, conceived or still a "sparkle in our eye" (as my Dad referred to this pre-conception period of time). God has the perfect child for us, and we'll just have to accept the wait for his plan to be followed through. In the meantime, we can pray for our future daughter, her biological parents and the incredible decisions they will make on her behalf, and the caretakers at the orphanage where she will be cared for until we come to get her.... not to mention our current family and the adjustments we'll all be making in the months and years to come.

Children of the World Choir

As we have mentioned Christy and I first began thinking about adoption after hearing a choir of orphans sing in our church. The choir is called "Children of the World". They are part of a Christian organization called "World Help".

If you are interested you can learn more about them at their web site. http://www.worldhelp.net/MusicOutreach.aspx

I remember this web site because I bought a shirt from the choir after we heard them sing. The church has the web site printed across the back. I wonder why I bought that shirt...

"I am never doing that again!"

That's what Christy said immediately after "we" delivered our wonderful third child, Tommy. I believed her too. Although there had never been any serious complications, each of Christy's pregnancies was more painful and troublesome than the previous. So on that day in May of 2004 we believed our family was complete. It seems that God had other plans...

I had never seriously considered adoption or even another child until we heard that choir of orphans in September of 2005. Christy is right, when she came home and said she wanted to adopt I thought she had lost her mind. Three children were challenging, four would be insane. Over the next year I realized that Christy was both very sane and very serious. So I took it seriously as well and began to pray. I prayed that God would show us what he intended next for our family.

Three children are indeed challenging. Much of the stress, cost, anger, fear, tears and noise in our house can be traced back to one of those three little pairs of hands. But here's the secret, almost all of the true laughter and joy comes from them as well. As each of our children has entered our life a part of me has been scared to death by the changes and new responsibilities that were coming along. Today I can't imagine our family without each of their faces and I have no idea why I was so worried.

As I prayed I realized we had been given more than enough energy, love and time for four children. (Christy is the one who spends all of her time with the kids. If she can handle it, I sure can!) What's more, I eventually had to admit that God had placed a burden on my heart for orphans like those in the choir ever since we had seen them perform. A couple of brief pregnancy "scares" showed me something else as well. I wasn't just becoming willing to raise another child, I truly wanted one! Eventually after some evenings of prayer together I realized what Christy had already embraced. There was room in our hearts and home for another child; a child that needed a family.

As excuses melted away, we knew what we wanted for our family, and we believed it was what God wanted as well. It was time to stop being scared and just get started. So here we are many months later. We have filled out all of our forms and are now waiting to hear from the People's Republic of China of a little girl who needs to find a family. We will keep you posted!

So, that's the first I've heard of this...

No, I'm kidding.

Christy and I are thrilled to be preparing room for a new daughter. Ben and Reagan are excited as well, but it is hard for them to think too seriously about anything that is still two years away. As a new three year old, Tommy just pretends he has no idea what we are talking about.

I'll write more later. I hope that some of you find the thoughts we post here over the next couple of years to be interesting or maybe even useful.

From the Beginning....

For those that did not know of our adoption plans, it actually began in 2005. I know there are people who are wondering "why?" I have three healthy, fun, sweet biological children. A few friends think we're crazy going for number four. Ever since our youngest son, Tommy, was born in 2004, I've been torn. I didn't want to go through another pregnancy (no medical complications... just pure misery with pulled ligaments through the majority of each pregnancy... my short abdomen just didn't do well holding babies) yet I still felt a void in my heart. I still wanted another child.

In September 2005 during a Church service where an International Childrens Choir came to sing, I started crying. The Choir was made up of orphans from 4 different countries. I came home from church and flat out told Mike I wanted to adopt. I think Mike thought I'd lost my mind. We did a little research, requested information, found out what the costs were and figured we'd talk about it during our trip to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary. Funny... it never came up. I think the selfishness of having an awesome time in Hawaii and wanting to be able to do it again made me think... "If we have four kids, who would ever babysit all four kids for us to go on a couples-only vacation?" Well, as time passed, the feeling I experienced in September kept coming back over and over. I'd see a pregnant mom and tell Mike I wanted another baby. I even suggested getting pregnant again... I think that's when Mike realized I was serious since he KNEW I didn't really want to do that. I'd hear about other adoptions and cry.

Throughout this entire time, our next-door neighbors Joanna and John had started their process of adopting through Korea. Within 9 months, they had a referral for their daughter. She was adorable, and we couldn't wait to meet her! The thought of helping another orphaned child to experience a life as our children will kept me interested.

In October of 2006, as we all awaited the papers to come for Joanna and John to fly to Korea to pick up Sara, I met a few adoptive moms while we volunteered at a local consignment sale. I heard their stories about their children while we sorted tags... and then cried the whole way home not knowing how to explain my feelings to Mike. Joanna's baby shower was the next day and it just seemed like I was surrounded by adoption talk for a reason. Mike and I had an "adoption talk" of our own that afternoon. We decided to spend a few days in prayer and see where the Lord was leading us. A few days later, Mike said, "yes"! It just seemed like the only reason holding us back was money and having to sacrifice a little... how could we let that stop us from helping another child to have a loving family? We just decided the new car, bigger home and expensive vacations would have to wait. First, we needed to complete our family.

So, now you know the story behind our decision...

I never would've thought...

that I'd be blogging. I just never figured anyone really cared what I thought about preschools, my remedies for calming a coughing child or what colors I painted the nursery. After all, that's my life. I don't talk politics. I can't type in fancy prose. I am not a deep thinker that analyzes the world around me. I'm a wife and a mom. From suburbia. However when Mike and I decided to adopt a child from China, I began doing a lot of "googling" on the web to find out neat information and follow others' progress. It then sank in that perhaps this was a good way for us to keep our families and friends up to date on our progress. I must admit that this blog will not become a daily log (at least that is not my intention). We have a very long wait ahead of us and saying "No changes" will get tedious. While we wait, though, we'll also keep you informed on how we plan to stay busy. Of course, planning to stay busy is unnecessary. In this household of three kids, busy just sticks to us! So if you are curious about what we're doing... keep checking in. And we promise to let you know when we find out any news on the Chinese adoption front.